Sunday, September 20, 2009

Maude

An image really pressed into my mind is the expression on my stepfather's face when I handed him a birthday card. He looked the way a little baby does when it's surprised into ecstasy.

I maintain this look is why so many people want to have little babies. Because grown-ups, we can be dour. And after twenty or thirty years surrounded by gloom, who wouldn't want to lighten things up?

It was the simplicity of the gesture - giving him a birthday card - juxtaposed to the depth of response - that really struck me. I love watching people come alive.

'Cause seriously: a person who needs an expensive circus performance with bells and whistles and sequiny dresses and champagne just to crack a smile - I'm sorry, but this guy is almost dead. If that's how much it takes to wake up, you are two feet-one arm into the grave. All that remain are a few jaundiced fingernails feebly scratching at the earth above...

Okay, maybe a little harsh.

Back to the baby. Think about peek-a-boo. Stupid game, right? Not to a baby! The whole world exists between his mother's smile and her hands covering her face. To him, this little handmade theatrical spectacle is the entire universe in motion.

When someone lights up that way at something seemingly small, this is the kind of person I love. This is the kind of person I want to be.

It is my birthday today. I am effectively 31 years old. Ugh... But! While this might be the cumulative measure of time, I am determined to get younger each year. My goal is Maude.



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